Cut the Shit

My Date with “The Winker”

If you are a faithful reader of “Cut the Shit”, then you know I recently met a construction worker stud on the subway during my morning commute. We exchanged phone numbers and after about a week and a half, he finally called me and asked me if I wanted to get a drink or some dinner. I was free that Saturday so we decided to hit up a restaurant in my area.

Mike showed up wearing tapered dress pants and a button down shirt. Ironically enough, I do enjoy guys who can’t dress. It makes them rougher around the edges and I enjoy that immensely. I was wearing jeans and a polo shirt, so when he showed up looking, tapered and um…dappered, I decided to change into a nice button down and pants that let my ankles breathe. I gave him a tour of our apartment and he played with my dog for a little bit.

I have yet to tell him about Paul, so it was a bit funny when he would ask me random questions about things in my apartment. “Why do you have two beds? Who is this guy in all the pictures? Etc.” Inside myself I was screaming with laughter and fear and trying to figure out a way to avoid answering questions I wasn’t ready to answer.

Eventually he gave up trying to figure out why I needed two full size beds in one bedroom and we went to dinner. Mike was an incredible gentleman the entire time we were together. He opened the door to the restaurant for me and asked me which chair I would rather sit in. We had some appetizers and some wine and overall I completely enjoyed his company.

Those of you that know me in person know that I’m a pretty bold conversationalist. I pull no punches and ask the questions I want answered. I did this with Mike and he informed me that he was in the middle of a divorce and is sharing custody of a three year old girl. Oh and he’s 33. The age thing didn’t shake me up at all, but when he said that he had just come out of the closet a year and a half ago, I about spit my steak across the table.

Those of us in the gay community know that when you come out of the closet, you become a whore; the older you are when you come out, the more whorish you tend to be. It’s like tasting freedom for the first time. Mike told me that he’s been out to the gay clubs pretty frequently and that he’s met some cute guys and hooked up so he’s “not completely inexperienced”. Inside my head I was rolling my eyes and thought that this would probably be the last date I would have with him. I’ve been out of the closet for 7 years now and the thought of dating someone who is going through a divorce, just out of the closet and has a kid, is not at all appealing to me. I’ve got enough baggage of my own. I clearly don’t need to put his on my back as well.

When dinner was over, Mike picked up the check. We took a nice walk back to my apartment and talked about movies and music and shit. He asked about my past relationships and I told him a little about Paul, but leaving out the fact that we still live together. Usually I’m a very open and up front kind of guy, but as I get older, I realize that sometimes personal items in my life are really no one else’s business. I feel good about my decision to wait on telling him about Paul and most of my friends were in agreement.

Mike dropped me off at the front door of my building and he kissed me on the lips. No tongue…just very sweet and hot. I enjoyed it quite a bit. He obviously isn’t afraid of PDA, although I’m pretty much uncomfortable with that. However, I gave over to the moment and it was actually quite beautiful.

Since then we’ve spoken on the phone a few times and we have plans for dinner this Saturday night. However, this morning I got on the subway and who should happen to walk through the door a few stops later? Mr. Construction Man in his dirty, hot outfit! I got up and we moved to the other side of the train and talked our way through the ride. He had a jacket with him, but was only wearing a t-shirt on the train. I had told my friends that I thought he was a bit too skinny for my tastes, but today he looked ripped up. I haven’t seen him with his shirt off yet, but if today’s outfit was any indication of what’s underneath, I’m definitely into it. I particularly liked the veins that snaked up and down his forearms.

Mike asked me what I was doing for lunch and if I wanted to meet up for a sandwich this afternoon. Part of me wanted to, but part of me wanted to hold the suspense until this weekend, so I said no. If I change my mind, I can “always reach him on his cell”.

I like Mike. I do. I think he’s a great guy with a decent sense of humor. He’s the most masculine gay guy I’ve ever met and I’m turned on by his charm and snaky veins. Also, I can tell that he likes me and that he’s interested in taking this further.

In the past I would just blow him and see what happened from there. But now that I’m older, better looking, and wiser (always have to stick the “better looking” in there), I won’t just immediately put his dick in my mouth. Although Paul and I are on a break and we are both allowed to date, I have been overjoyed at how well we’re getting along and how much fun we’ve been having together. I’m still in love with him and I still believe we have the potential of a wonderful future together. Yet, before I make that decision, I promised myself that I would date around and see what else is out there. Up until now, I haven’t really liked any of the guys I’ve dated.

And that’s that! I’ll definitely keep you all posted as to the details of my next date. But for now, I’ve got a lot of soul searching to do and I need to figure out where I’m at with Paul. Are we forever or not? I just don’t know yet, but will I ever know?

And no, I’m not asking you for your opinion on my and Paul’s relationship. I’m so used to my friends and family telling me that I’m making a mistake that I’ve learned to live my own life and to tune out any sort of unwarranted advice. With so many of the people in my life dealing with their own relationship issues, I find it hilarious that they have the time and knowledge to tell me what I should be doing with mine. I mean, are we serious?

For the record, I still need to be good and fucked. But that’s a story for another day.